State of Mind_4th Aug 2015

Everything sounds good or bad when spoken about from a top perspective!

Though the ground realities can hugely differ! When people aren’t very clear about their intentions, miss communication is bound to happen. We tend to stray from what is important and tend to crib about the things that don’t matter. Sometimes we even create newer, ulterior and parallel realities.How do we rectify this situation? How do we make aware of certain discrepancies?  We need to be more adept to change; to be more open to certain new possibilities and maybe help that possibility blossom into something beyond what has been expected.

 I don’t know if I always say or do the right things. I don’t know if certain things are supposed to be the way that we are or just go along with the flow and kind of sync myself to a system I don’t agree with.

It’s hard to live in an environment that has diversities that so immense that finding yourself within that pond becomes a task within itself, and that could take ages!  Nobody is perfect and change isn’t something that comes along very easily for everybody or for all changes in time.

Conclusions on my State of Mind?

Positivity is Dead!

So they say, when one's happy they are positive. They think positive, eat positive, drink positive, live positive and probablyw even shit positive.
Well the opposite goes to the negation!

When you work in a company for as long as I have (and I'm sure many of you have and maybe more), you grow akin to a certain manner of working. Initially you learn and try to adapt, and then eventually you're attuned; you carry on working with a system that's already familiar to you.

Imagine CHANGE! And I'm not talking the positive kind (though I wish it were)
Positive people refrain from cribbing... they stray from negativity and that, in my field is the best time for creativity. The best of your work stems from the happiness you feel in the comfort and easy going nature of your workplace and of course your colleagues. No matter how ridiculous or annoying the project you are allotted you find the silver lining and make the best of it.
Now, I find myself gossiping, cribbing, irritated and annoyed most  of the time. And why?
My thoughts though predominantly focused on the task at hand has taken a turn to the dark side. I usually don't bad mouth any one or confront or even enrage someone. It's not in my nature to be a BITCH ...but when provoked I'm an insufferable little devil (at least I'm honest about that).

Call me whatever you like, I can't stand injustice. What would you say to someone who has no business in your business and yet wants in your business?  How do you say "back off it bitch" respectfully in a professional manner? How would you handle a manager who doesn't have your back ('coz he's lost his own backbone)? Would you bypass him and rat him out to your super boss?

Some people consider my department as a bunch of dumb f**** who have no have no formal learning. And it's condescending to type caste someone as illiterate. I'm an English minor with a degree in Mass Communication, who worked as a copywriter before entering this field of television. One who doesn't have their facts straight has not right to be judgmental and horribly inconsiderate. And OMG, don't get me started on their fat - ass egos.

Well I had to find a vent. Typing about this hasn't made my problems go away but sure has helped with a tiny percent of relief.
I know I can't always be right and I will have people critic and annoy me about my work, but if I carry a certain belief and confidence in what I do, I just wish that I had someone to share that confidence in me and support me for crying out loud!

Thank you my dear blog for being my mouth-less companion and allowing the time and energy to speak what I kept bottled up through out this day.

xoxo

Melodrama

So today, I woke up thinking how lucky I was to be home after what seemed like ages!
I was glad to snuggle to the smell of my own bed, have breakfast at my old seat and drink from my own mug. I walked large spaces in these broad interiors of my home. Home; what a lovely warmth ran through my veins as I said it. I of course have a doting mother, who saw how off color I was when I woke this morning (Thanks to the long drive we took yesterday), an annoying yet equally doting twin sister who just sat next to me watching her daily Hindi soap online.

The morning seemed a bit sickly yet thoroughly pleasing for me, sitting amidst the presence of my family.
The enters the evil villain. My baby brother who just won't quit from trying to make us more miserable. A total pain in the ass!

He has his phone confiscated thanks to his very uncomely behavior. Now out of boredom he finds new ways to annoy us. He flat out refuses to do his chores and just seems to pick on everybody else except for himself. I wouldn't say he's a bad boy, he is my baby brother and I love him immensely; but he is a massive pain in my ass...
He believes that we won't be here to take care of him, that we don't love him enough but it's rather the contrary. The boy is spoiled rotten by us. He gets everything he ever wishes for and in return all we ask that he respects us. Respect us as his elders; as people who love and care for him. But he seems to be completely oblivious to that context.

Anyway, I pray and hope he sees a light at the end of his tunnel.I wish him only to be a model son and learn respect for people who surround him

I know this is a super personal post, but I did need a vent to let out the frustration and disappointment I feel when I experience this every time I visit home after a long time.

It's all about Christmas!

Christmas is the merriest time of the year for me, and to be able to express that joy for me through my job, is the most amazing feeling!

Here is; the joy that I'd like to express...

Turns out a Christmas Song is the best way to introduce a Comedy Marathon 2014 on Zee Cafe.
Merry Christmas ya'll!
Written/Sung/Produced by: Marienelle Ds'ouza
Male vocals: Brian D'Costa
Graphics: Mithun Menon
Audio: Wayne Fonseca

 

Pretty Little Liar "ME"

Though I might have shown major dislike about having to handle to show Pretty Little Liars at work, in truth I am a PLL fan. I know it's hypocritical of me, but then the fan of it is that, you are applauded more knowing that you disliked it and yet gave such exceptional result.

I know, I know...that's super sly of me ;)

Started out with the marathon Promo
Producer: Marienelle Azucena D'souza
Channel: Zee Cafe
Show: Pretty Little Liars

Long Due...

I've started with Zee Cafe & Studio for more than a year now, I don't really know what took me so long to post something new about this job...(or maybe I'm just super lazy)

Anyway, now seems a fitting time to be posting something that been long overdue...

After all I didn't want the year to end without me posting something, and two, I really love my job, so posting absolutely nothing about it would be stupid ;)

Proud moment #1
Something I did in December 2013...A whole year  later but still seems like a fresh achievement :)

ENJOY!

RANDOM!

RANDOM!

Today, I thought to myself; what do I write about?
I was desperate to put down my thoughts, yet I wanted to avoid debating, retrospection or any other form of foolish or un thought topics.

Then I thought about writing about my day. The simple pleasures of life! Things that make me happy.

I've been reading Deepak Chopra's semi- fictional book on the life of Buddha.
The book is pretty enlightening, I thought that the whole concept if Buddhism refers to pure Spirituality. But I see now that it is much, much, much more than that!
The power of meditation and staying in - tune with your inner self and detaching yourself from all earthly possessions & desires. This is all easier said than done. And through this book I see that Buddha did the same. He attained enlightenment not only but sitting under a precious Sal tree always, he challenged Evil, he helped the poor, he meditated, he questioned the teaching of others who seemed to have found their Dharma. He pushed forward to learn more & from different people. And if I look to parallels with the life of Jesus, he too suffered temptations (three to be exact). Even he questioned God's plan for him & was approached with thoughts to turn back to his princely stature and live comfortably. But chose a path that seemed impossible & succeeded.
Well I might not know much after reading this book, but I know I want learn more .

Then this long weekend gave me the chance to escape Bombay's hustle & bustle to come to a rather laid back Pune. I love the weekend that I spend here being with my sister. She's an amazing life partner for me and though I may not say this often, she is literally my savior.
Like yesterday, I was travelling late at night to come to Pune. 'Buddha' the novel kept me engrossed for most of the time. And somehow I deferred  sleeping. But surprisingly, when I almost reached Pune I dozed of while reading the book, and only woke when I reached Shivajinagar which was further away from my sister's place (Aundh). I freaked out. Called her (she was asleep too, so she didn't call). And at 12:18am I was alone on a deserted road in the middle of Shivajinagar (no clue about the place or people) and the journey which would usually take her 30mins at normal speed, my sister clocked 15mns. And she was there to pick me up saving me the nerves (I said a whole mystery of our lady in the meantime).

Well so that's that! Pretty eventful start to the weekend. Plus I didn't fall asleep till 7:30am.

Distance & Love

How do you deal with separation?

There are a million people in this world that we wouldn't ever mind parting with but then there are those who you'd rather have close to you forever. a favorable distance doesn't count as  much of a pinch but what if that distance is amplified tenfold? How do you deal with that idea?

The cost of having someone go as far away from you as possible only to realize the distance seems to creep like a parasite; that at a certain point you lose all senses. You feel numb and desperate to have them back and in your arms.

Love can be a very selfish aspect in ones life. It''s liberating yet imprisoning. Yet it's a feel we all ache for, and when we get it we either reciprocate aggressively or just take it all in for granted. Having it taken away from you also leaves you barren and emotionless. The tragedy is really just bitter - sweet. There is no resolute way of getting it right. For every time your try to get it right...boom it just smacks you back in the face.

Okay so coming back to distance. Love and distance, are they even pals? Do they even have this innate understanding to combine and leave us happy? I think no!

Peyton in 'One Tree Hill' makes a very strong statement: People always leave.
Which yes, refers to people we love who always leave, so that's because we feel the pinch of distance & loss only towards those people we love.
Conflicting thoughts and ideas. I have my head wrapped around the answers to why, what & how.
And though I have these answers, it's always easier said than done.

Isn't it?

THE KHAN OF KHANS

Citizen Khan the new show on Comedy Central.

Uber fun working on the promos...seriously hilarious show :)

Please do watch

The Roasted Series :P

I pity these chaps that were roasted brutally...

but making these promos for them was absolute fun!

Trump, Hasselhoff & Bob Saget ... Thank you for making us laugh :P

Enjoy!

U.G.L.Y - An Amateur run in graphics

Tried my hand for the first time in graphics...

Seems to be working for me yet leave room for ALOT of learning!

Something I did as a practice and discipline myself in my line of work :D

School of Hard Mocks

Composite Promo for Awkward & The Inbetweeners.

Comedy Central Monsoon ID

Inspiration can come through the simplest creatures of nature on a rainy day!!!

Thoughts materialized with the help of a very gracious graphic artist.

Voila! The frog & the mosquito

Swallow

She walked everyday aimlessly along the freeway, no where to go, no place to be.
Just wandering along the streets like a lost soul.
Looking through her eyes, you could feel the sorrow and the pain, but her face had a smile as always; a desperate attempt to hide what wishes not to be hidden.

A lot of friends she has; friends that she willed to keep for a lifetime yet through circumstances she's drifted away from. Though she wishes to have them back, she foolishly fails to attempt doing so.

She's not using her head, it feels like she's just going wherever the wind takes her.
Her story might seem like a common occurrence, but "is it?", that's the thought that goes through her head.
Is she really that ordinary? Or is there a purpose of her being?

She's listening to her heart, but it's always shy of an answer or answers.
"Whats this bullshit of listening to her heart?" she rethinks. Everybody expects her to be a certain person yet she's the only one unsure of who she is anymore.

An experience of a lifetime!

It’s a surreal experience. Definitely one that will last a lifetime!

The Genfest has meant so many different things to each of us; most similar and maybe a few different.

Nevertheless the experience has been an unforgettable one; one that we could carry home with

us like a flame, to spread it wherever we are, and in whatever we do.

At the ‘Scoula Gen’, we truly renewed our faith in Jesus forsaken. 

We went back to the very basics of what it really means to be a ‘gen’. We pride ourselves at being in this world-wide gen movement, and how we have the power of changing the world by just living the WORD. The awe-inspiring presence & the shared experiences of Chiara’s first companions gave us deeper

insight into her life and about theirs as well.

We also learned more about the COLOURS and how Chiara lived them, and how she willed us

to live them as well. We discussed Orange and Indigo. We were divided into 32 groups, out of

which half discussed Orange and the other half Indigo. I got the Indigo team. This was the first

time that we actually went in detail of a particular colour and so it was a beautiful experience;

we discussed the difficulties we gen face when it comes to this particular colour; How we go

about talking about ourselves and the movement to people who are unknown to it or more

importantly people who’ve lost their faith? Strong experiences were shared.

Then we also spoke about ways in which we gen could keep in touch with each other knowing

that most of us are busy with different aspects of our lives and some of us live away from home

where there may not be a focolare house. The give and take of ideas and experiences was

inspiring.

What struck me the most about the whole school was the simplistic approach Chiara had

towards love and how it can have such a profound meaning in our lives. The six simple

words ‘Everything that is mine is ours’, made me retrospect my own live and existence.

The whole experience made me think back on how I am living my life. I found myself to be

selfish. I kept thinking about my previous thoughts; “How am I going to the genfest”, ‘What

am I going to do?” etc. But then in retrospect when I pondered upon what Chiara said

about ‘everything that is mine that is our’ it dawned upon me that there are things in this world

that is larger than us. Youth from all over the world we living in a selfless manner but what

inspired me the most were my own Indian gen; gen who were concerned about the other

person not being able to attend the genfest, and not only show concern but practically take

steps to help them. Besides that helping one another do their best and sharing, not only for our

performances but also while travelling, meeting new people and so on.

Being in Chiara’s house was a grace beyond words; I walked past from room-to-room in awe of

her humble settings. As you step into her home, it gives you the feeling that ‘YES, she LIVED

here!’. Every little detail of the house assured me that she’d overseen it. Every gift she got from

her travels and visits had a special place and meaning. The house wasn’t fancy, wasn’t flashy.

It didn’t even give you the feeling that a woman who started a WORLD WIDE REVOLUTION

lived here. You felt like the person who lived here was homely, caring and loving. Her bed

wasn’t a queen sized or king sized bed. It was a cot just enough for her to lay her head on. The

room had some basic necessities and of course her to two favourite people in the world; Jesus

Forsaken and Mama Mary. In today’s world most of us aren’t satisfied with just the basics, we

want a fancy lifestyle, we want to live large. But we forget that it’s not living large in style, it’s

living large in your heart. And that’s what Chiara did. That’s what I learnt.

This experience also brought re-kindled my relationship with my twin sister. Her moving to

Pune for her job a year ago put a strain on our relationship. We have never lived this far, for

this long from each other. And though we speak to each other almost every day and share

things, there was a lot of underlying feelings that weren't shared. She grew aloof, and she’s a

kind of person who’d never express her love so openly. It takes time to crack that protective

shell around her. Nevertheless through this experience together, we shared some much needed

quality time (thank you Sanjana & Blossom for giving up their roomie expectations and letting

us be together). It took her some time to get used to having her sister hover around her 24/

7 again! Sometimes she’d just try to get away from me. But finally on our way back from the

visit to Loppiano she opened up, and for the first time in a very long time spoke to me about

her deepest troubles. It was a beautiful and profound moment for both of us. We ended up

watching a tagalong movie together for the rest of the bus ride to the Centro Mariapoli.

A- Head on the Copy Block

You may think you're good!
but yes your go through the same...

Never flinching?... but you flinch!

You say you won't go crazy?... but you get there!

Your life? ... virtually unrecognizable!

Confused? ... Hell YES!

Fahrenheit Creative Team... Part time workers!!

Using my M.A.Dness to lighten up the Fahrenheit Work scene.

Presenting the stars of my creation: Exhibit A : Fahrenheit Creative Team with their part time jobs!!!

Balu Balaji (Visualizer)

Krishna (Visualizer)

Saju (Visualizer)

Me (Copywriter)

My Iridescent Lover

You, my lover you!
You have led me through
a life I have never desired.
I drown every day in a river of sorrow,
Love lost and never found again.


I used to wake every morning
mesmerized by your thoughts.
Kept thinking all day, when I’d see your face,
I’d kiss your lips and walk by the beach.


We were so lost in our bubble.
No one else existed but us.
We had our fair share of trouble,
but you never lost sight of me.


You kept changing my name;
cracked voice, you sang a song for me.
Carried my shoes with my tired feet,
I’d depend on you for everything.


Yes, you were my heart, you were my rock
and you put a ring on me.
Goosebumps, by the beach, made promises,
as we kissed each other’s lips.


Now that time has passed,
years gone by and distant.
Yet memories fresh and heart still broken
I see you’ve changed your colour again.


Now you’re crass and now you’re mean.
You’d take any chance to hurt me.
My fragile heart still broken and you
just want to vaporize it…


Keep changing colours;
keep changing love,
My Iridescent lover.

Fix the Broken

I hate that I ever believed in you
I hate that I ever fell in love with you
though I never regretted falling in love with you!

Yes this heart ache still hurts with immensity,
Completed 5 cycles of 12 and I’m still in this rut.
Why have I let my guard down?
Made myself vulnerable and soft?
Just so that you could run me over like a piece of cloth!

I think to myself on most days; that I’m strong and I’m capable.
That I will never allow another Adam’s son to hurt me now,
yet all of that is just hopeless yearning, coz deep down I know
who it is I still yearn for.

But I want to have no more of this;
bury this pain, dry my tears.
Leave you in the deepest alley of my past.
It’s seems like an impossible task I must undertake
But unlike you I’d rather not fake!

Yes, it takes a lot more time than I ever thought,
It may have been easy for you but for me it’s not!
But I promise, I will get out.
I will be strong and I will love again.
No matter how much you wish to hurt me,
The Lord knows my name.
He will be my shelter, he will be my guide.

For you though, my love may forever remain,

Broken now, but I will fix myself and reign again!

In the face of Adversity : Our Self-imposed Ignorance

It's been quite a while since my last blog. My move to Bangalore has not been very easy,; it's been time-consuming and exhausting. But i'm slowing coping, one week almost done!

Anyways my reason to blog today is not to talk about my metropolitan move, but about this article I read today on The Times of India  e-paper.

I'm baffled at how ignorant and selfish we can be in today's work; me included.
It's like we walk with blinkers on all day and don't even bother to pay heed to the person sitting right next to us, totally oblivious to their life story and background.

The piece of news I read today was a definite eye-opener. I am ashamed to be living in a country that still treats its women like commodities and fail to give them their due respect.
The news was about this young 20 year old girl, married off to a man at the tender age of 15. Once at her 'new' home, the in-laws demand more and more dowry over the coloured TV, bike, tractor and rs 1 lakh given before marriage. Failing to meet the demands, she was plunged into a 5 year life of turmoil, full of sexual exploitation, assault, savagery, and brutality by the husband,in-laws, relatives and neighbours whilst she was left to downtrodden in a cowshed sharing her living space with the cattle, until she was sold off at a mere price of Rs 50,000/-. The unfortunate was then spotted by a relative of hers and was finally rescued by her family after 5 years of mental and physical torture.


A young girl, barely a woman,  repeatedly raped, abused; tearing her of her innocence. She's not even fully aware of the world's beauty and verve and she's already sent into the deep dark ends or torturous alleys. How can she ever live a better life? How will she come out of this mentally? Will she ever love again? Will she ever be able to know , if the child she was forced to abort, would have grown to see the light of day?Now in a modern, fast moving, ever-evolving world we live in, this should actually seem like some absurd long diminished concept. Yet this plague still exists!


It's an ugly serpent that just raises it's head midst our naked eyes. We've spent most of out earth days, thinking about US! What I want! What's happening to ME? without the slightest consideration for the evils that still persists even today.


I am ashamed to admit that I am one those you'll! We are all responsible for such evil. By ignoring it, not talking about it and not fighting it to the maximum extent so that it is eradicated for good, we contribute to its survival and let it persist.

It's disturbing and truly saddening.