My Iridescent Lover

You, my lover you!
You have led me through
a life I have never desired.
I drown every day in a river of sorrow,
Love lost and never found again.


I used to wake every morning
mesmerized by your thoughts.
Kept thinking all day, when I’d see your face,
I’d kiss your lips and walk by the beach.


We were so lost in our bubble.
No one else existed but us.
We had our fair share of trouble,
but you never lost sight of me.


You kept changing my name;
cracked voice, you sang a song for me.
Carried my shoes with my tired feet,
I’d depend on you for everything.


Yes, you were my heart, you were my rock
and you put a ring on me.
Goosebumps, by the beach, made promises,
as we kissed each other’s lips.


Now that time has passed,
years gone by and distant.
Yet memories fresh and heart still broken
I see you’ve changed your colour again.


Now you’re crass and now you’re mean.
You’d take any chance to hurt me.
My fragile heart still broken and you
just want to vaporize it…


Keep changing colours;
keep changing love,
My Iridescent lover.

Fix the Broken

I hate that I ever believed in you
I hate that I ever fell in love with you
though I never regretted falling in love with you!

Yes this heart ache still hurts with immensity,
Completed 5 cycles of 12 and I’m still in this rut.
Why have I let my guard down?
Made myself vulnerable and soft?
Just so that you could run me over like a piece of cloth!

I think to myself on most days; that I’m strong and I’m capable.
That I will never allow another Adam’s son to hurt me now,
yet all of that is just hopeless yearning, coz deep down I know
who it is I still yearn for.

But I want to have no more of this;
bury this pain, dry my tears.
Leave you in the deepest alley of my past.
It’s seems like an impossible task I must undertake
But unlike you I’d rather not fake!

Yes, it takes a lot more time than I ever thought,
It may have been easy for you but for me it’s not!
But I promise, I will get out.
I will be strong and I will love again.
No matter how much you wish to hurt me,
The Lord knows my name.
He will be my shelter, he will be my guide.

For you though, my love may forever remain,

Broken now, but I will fix myself and reign again!

In the face of Adversity : Our Self-imposed Ignorance

It's been quite a while since my last blog. My move to Bangalore has not been very easy,; it's been time-consuming and exhausting. But i'm slowing coping, one week almost done!

Anyways my reason to blog today is not to talk about my metropolitan move, but about this article I read today on The Times of India  e-paper.

I'm baffled at how ignorant and selfish we can be in today's work; me included.
It's like we walk with blinkers on all day and don't even bother to pay heed to the person sitting right next to us, totally oblivious to their life story and background.

The piece of news I read today was a definite eye-opener. I am ashamed to be living in a country that still treats its women like commodities and fail to give them their due respect.
The news was about this young 20 year old girl, married off to a man at the tender age of 15. Once at her 'new' home, the in-laws demand more and more dowry over the coloured TV, bike, tractor and rs 1 lakh given before marriage. Failing to meet the demands, she was plunged into a 5 year life of turmoil, full of sexual exploitation, assault, savagery, and brutality by the husband,in-laws, relatives and neighbours whilst she was left to downtrodden in a cowshed sharing her living space with the cattle, until she was sold off at a mere price of Rs 50,000/-. The unfortunate was then spotted by a relative of hers and was finally rescued by her family after 5 years of mental and physical torture.


A young girl, barely a woman,  repeatedly raped, abused; tearing her of her innocence. She's not even fully aware of the world's beauty and verve and she's already sent into the deep dark ends or torturous alleys. How can she ever live a better life? How will she come out of this mentally? Will she ever love again? Will she ever be able to know , if the child she was forced to abort, would have grown to see the light of day?Now in a modern, fast moving, ever-evolving world we live in, this should actually seem like some absurd long diminished concept. Yet this plague still exists!


It's an ugly serpent that just raises it's head midst our naked eyes. We've spent most of out earth days, thinking about US! What I want! What's happening to ME? without the slightest consideration for the evils that still persists even today.


I am ashamed to admit that I am one those you'll! We are all responsible for such evil. By ignoring it, not talking about it and not fighting it to the maximum extent so that it is eradicated for good, we contribute to its survival and let it persist.

It's disturbing and truly saddening. 

Job race

It's a 'bloodbath'; a massive race.
You slack a bit and you lose. There's nothing else you can do past that.
So is the race to finding that job you'd always want.

You sent out like 20 applications a day and if your lucky, you'll have about 5 calls max the next day.
Talent is such a commodity these days; qualifications are a mere paper filler rather than a decisive point.

Everybody looks and just a handful find.

Trapped

Arrghh!!!

Do you ever feel like your trapped? like "here is a F***ed up life" what do I do next?

like what is a 5 year plan or a 10 year plan?!?!
does it ever work out the way you want it to?

do you ever get the perfect job, the perfect place, the perfect guy, the perfect life???

What's this whole new bull crap of some eternal optimists who have a firm belief, that their life work out the way the plan; even if it is 20 years from now.

What about "living in the moment"?,
does it consume 80% of my chances to earn the perfect life?

what is the "perfect life"?

All these assumptions, inhibitions, illusions, delusions, false perceptions, in- built beliefs, they TRAP us!
They TRAP me!!! it's making me feel claustrophobic....

why is it that we dream of life in a particular way but then feel trapped by our own fears, limitations and responsibilities; that we are unable to do what we wish to!
Does this turmoil ever end....is there a person with a 35 year old career who still believes he has lived his dream life wholly and perfectly? ( I wonder what Bill Gates or Richard Branson has to say about this?)

WHY?

Why is so hard to get over one's past???

It's absurd how we can possibly live in cocoon of our own sorrows.

As hard as you try to escape it somehow it has the audacity to keep following you till you find yourself in that miserable pit all over again.

I keep wondering why I let myself feel anything; one after the other I let myself invest my feelings and then BOOM! it goes south.....leaving me cold and lying in a damn corner.

I'd like to believe that there's someone way better out there for me, but I keep falling for the wrong ones.

and why's that?!?!

I keep questioning myself.... 

Gen Fete : Youth For a United World - Goa

The Youth For a United World of the Focolare Movement in Goa in Collaboration with the YMCA Presents,

Hi to all,

WE are the Youth Group of the Focolare Movement: the Youth for a United World...

This year is very special for us; we are sharing special moments of unity preparing for the long-awaited Genfest, the international meeting of the Youth for a United World which will take place in Budapest in the month of August, 2012, that's only 3 months away and so we’ve set our sights in Unity towards this one common goal.

As part of the preparation for this event and in collaboration with YMCA, Panjim, we would like to invite you all to spend an evening of fun and games with us at the Gen Fete on 13^th May Sunday at the YMCA Hall in Campal- Panjim from 4 to 6:30p.m.

Let this be a special time for us to enjoy, share wonderful moments and come together in unity and also raise funds for the Genfest. It’s been long since we’ve been planning this day and we hope that you’ll turn up to make it a huge success.